To get you in the spirit of Christmas...this is our lobby's Christmas decoration. It's a nativity with large ceramic figurines, toy animals and vegetation, green kitty litter (I think?), with a backdrop of brown paper, like a grocery bag. And like 80 strings of lights. It's just about the ugliest thing ever.
We have a lot to catch up on (things from October and maybe even beyond!), so let's get into it.
Fun experiences:
-First time I've ever seen a firefly. It was in our house, and it was awesome. 'Nuff said.
-Hurricane Matthew came through and it just rained and rained...and rained. That was really all we got. The ocean was rougher than usual (which means it was still only about half as rough as our beloved California coast) and it rained. That's it. But it was a big deal to the Colombians, because they don't have weather here in Cartagena. Ever. But our internet and power didn't even go out. Usually a slight wind will take one or both out. But I attribute that mostly to it being General Conference weekend, and we needed to hear from the prophet.
-We went to a Family Home Evening with a bunch of ward members one night. At the end, someone suggested that we all go to a beautiful beach nearby on the next Monday, which everyone had off from work. Beautiful beach? Nearby? We're in! We show up at the appointed house at the appointed time to find that we are the only ones there, besides the family that lived in the house. I thought, of course, everyone will be late. What were we thinking coming on time? However, we quickly learned that we weren't waiting for anyone, and none of the family was coming with us except for the dad. So me, James, and Man set off for this beach.
I'm not going to lie, at this point, I was already pretty disenchanted with the trip. Beach trip with group of ward members, some of whom would be around our age, sounds a lot more attractive than beach trip with Man who could be our dad. But we obviously had to go, otherwise it would just be Man on beach trip. But maybe he felt just as obligated as we did...we all probably should have just called it a day at that point. But instead, we hopped on a bus that was more full than any other bus we have ever been on. I was holding onto a bar with 2 fingers and hoping that my feet wouldn't slip off the step I was on, because I'd be dead. James was even worse. He was most of the way out the door, with just his toes in the bus, the rest of his foot mere feet from the asphalt. It was a horrific bus ride. Luckily, it emptied out fairly quickly and we were able to get seats. What we didn't realize was that this bus ride was going to be like a half hour+ long. It's pretty easy to get car sick just from a short bus ride, so we were pretty green by the end. The cool thing was, the bus went through some slums and emerged onto the beach, where it drove on the sand for 10 minutes. Didn't help the sickness, but definitely a unique and awesome experience.
The bus dropped us off at the end of the beach, where the beach abruptly gave way to a little lagoon. Man informed us that we had to pay to cross the lagoon in small, rickety, barely-boats. So we hopped on and prayed that the boats would last the 100 feet across the lagoon. I was comforted when I realized that the means of getting the boat across was to push against the bottom with a long stick (a la gondola). So if the boat sank, it's only in like 6 feet of water. As we disembarked on the other side, we saw three men trying to get a motorcycle onto one of these boats. Good luck, guys!
The "boat".
As the boat stopped, I had the feeling that I was an explorer entering native lands where I was not so much welcome. I always say that I have never felt unsafe in Cartagena, which was true, up until this point. This neighborhood, La Boquilla, was sketchy. Hopefully Man can protect the gringos! Man then informed us that we had to walk a short distance to the beach. So we walked through this neighborhood, with mud streets, mostly naked children, and pigs in the road, and finally went down an alley to the beach. But wait, this isn't the right beach. We still have to walk. Dang good thing, because this beach was even MORE trash-filled than our beaches. I have never seen anything like it. Actually, I have. The gross, trash-filled lagoon behind our house. I don't know why any Colombian would be shoe-less...if they just walked down this beach, they could easily make multiple pairs of shoes. Sure, they wouldn't match, but with a variety like this, how can you complain?!
As we were walking, we come to another lagoon, this time without boats. There is no way to walk around, and we have ALL of our stuff with us. So I just plunged in, the highest part going about to my waist. No, I didn't particularly want to get my shoes or dress wet, but what are you going to do? We were not prepared for any of this. As we got to the other side, an SUV and a little crappy hatchback drive up. The SUV cruises across the lagoon with no problems, then motions for the smaller car to come across. We instantly knew this was a bad idea, since the water was like 3 feet deep. But after much deliberation, they decide to try it. The car makes it about half way across, the water practically lapping at the windows, and the car starts to smoke. The woman inside pushes it a little further and then gets scared and turns it off, making it slide back to about 3/4 of the way. She then opens the door, letting a foot of ocean water in her car. Some locals had been swimming nearby and ran over to help. They told her to just try to drive it out. The poor car just died. Then they tried to push it, but it was lodged in sand, and filled with ocean water, thanks to the brilliant door-open. James went to help push, but they just couldn't get it out. One local grabbed a large stick and tried to pry it out. Meanwhile, this woman keeps opening the door to scream at them. Her husband is on the shore screaming at her to open the window instead of the door. Uh, duh! The SUV driver provides a rope to attach to both cars, and he tries to drag the car out. Finally after everyone pushes for 10 minutes, the car finally pops out. Welp, that's their beach day ruined, not to mention their car.
We keep walking and finally encounter the beach. By the way, we had no idea we were in for all of this. We were told: short bus ride then beach. We had no idea it would be long bus ride, gondola ride, 1/2 mile walk through sketchy neighborhood, 1 mile walk (in sand) to actual beach. So it took us like 2 hours to get there. I was not happy and quickly realized I was not up for an all day beach trip. But it just took us 2 hours and twice as much money as we thought! I was even less enthused when I found out that we had to purchase fish lunches to have use of the shade and hammocks on the beach. I had no desire to stay for lunch. But I plopped myself in a chair and enjoyed the sun and the deserted, slightly-nicer-but-still-not-great beach. After we had been there for about an hour, Man asked if we were ready to go. Oh...I guess? I wasn't disappointed, since I had been ready to go from the moment we got on that crowded bus, but really? Two hour terrible trip, spend an hour on the beach, then prepare yourself for another horrible two hour trip? So we hiked back, took the gondola, rode the bus and got home. Being sick and hungry, we decided to order Dominos, our comfort food. However, upon opening the website, we were informed that they weren't delivering to us for some reason. NOOOOOO!!!!! All in all, one of the more hilarious, but more terrible experiences we've had here. James loved the adventure.
Oh, Cartagena. So close, and yet so far away.
-For my birthday, James bought me a weeks worth of intense Spanish classes. A lot of the people that come to South America to "find themselves and learn Spanish," learn from such places. It was great to have to speak Spanish for 4 hours a day. The whole class was in Spanish, and we could only speak English for strange vocabulary words. So it was great for my listening/speaking skills. And I learned a lot about Colombia from my teacher. I used this as an opportunity to ask him every question I had about Cartagena. So now, when I write stuff about Colombia like I know what I'm talking about, it's probably because it's something he said. Probably. :) The other weird bonus about the class was how much I learned about Australia and Europe. My class had 1 Australian guy, 2 Swiss-German ladies, and a German couple. So as we asked questions or compared our countries to Colombia, I learned all sorts of random facts about their countries. Did you know that these people only have to work for a couple of years and then they get like a year sabbatical? Why is the US so behind the times in regards to work time off? People need a break! So now I can boldly act like an expert about even more places! Yes!
November festivities:
Cartagena is famous for the November festivos. Barranquilla has Carnaval, we have festivos de Noviembre. It starts with All Saints Day (I think?) then ends with Cartagena's Independence Day. James had Monday off, then had to go into work for training on Tuesday and half of Wednesday. Then he didn't go back to work until the following Tuesday. Pretty sweet deal. I will definitely miss all the excuses not to work when we get back to the States. People cautioned us to be careful and wear crappy clothes from Monday-Monday. They told us not to take our phones out and maybe even to just stay inside. So, we didn't listen to them, and tried to find the fun. OK, calm down, we weren't that reckless. But we had not seen any of the things that everyone talked about...the firecrackers, the partying in the street, the men who would douse you in black chalk if you didn't give them money...nada. So we went about our business as usual until Friday.
Friday was the day that everyone told us to be VERY careful, so we decided we probably would stay inside. There is a highway between our house and the ocean that stretches along the whole coast of Cartagena. They closed it down. Sorry everyone, hope you weren't going anywhere. I tried to order Dominos, the order went through, and then it never showed up. Stupid me, I should have known that one street being closed would mean no Dominos. Thanks for letting me down once again, Colombian Dominoes. One side of the street was for the parade, and the other side was for the crowd. The crowd started building around 12, and we people-watched from our window as people sprayed foam at each other. The parade was supposed to start at 2, so it came by our house at about 2:40. By this time, the crowd had grown immensely, so they almost completely filled up the two lanes of traffic allotted for them. The parade was just like any parade except it had a lot of dancers and bands and very small, very sporadic, floats. The floats didn't really seem to have themes. Palm trees and half naked girl. Mini replica of the wall and half naked girl. Giant face and half naked girl. So, the theme was half naked girl. Usually during the November festivos they have the Miss Colombia contest, right here in Cartagena. I was super pumped to hear this because for some reason, girls like watching beauty contests. But I was let down, because this year, of all years, they are not doing it in November. C'mon! But I would assume that the floats usually have Miss Colombia candidates instead of random half naked girls. Or maybe they did, and I just didn't know who they were.
After watching the parade for about an hour, James and I decided to go down and join the fun. By this point, we had seen teenage girls getting rushed by hordes of teenage boys, foam being sprayed EVERYWHERE, random strangers smearing paint on each other, and firecrackers being thrown right at people's feet in the middle of the crowd. So we left money, phones, jewelry, etc. at home, put on clothes we didn't care about, and headed downstairs.
The moment the doors to our building opened, we were assaulted with the smell of street food, shouting, and loud music. We thought we were getting a pretty good idea from 15 floors up, but we had no idea. I don't think I've ever been in the midst of a crowd so wild. It was so fun! We walked 3/4 mile down the parade route to our grocery store, all while getting foamed, smeared with paint and corn meal, and avoiding the many firecrackers exploding at our feet. It was exhilarating. When we got to the intersection by the grocery store, we found ourselves at the edges of a street fight. We didn't get a chance to take a look (yes, we're those people) because all of a sudden, a large group of laughing Colombians started charging at us like they were running from zombies, but enjoying themselves while doing it. We backed up to see if the zombie threat was real, and were passed by Colombian cavalry cops on horses, wielding small bats to break up the fight. It was, to date, one of the most hilarious things we've seen in Colombia. Seriously, I'm laughing my head off just remembering it. It's one of those moments that you just wish you could drop in a Pensieve for everyone to be able to watch it.
Five of these came charging at us. I felt like I was in the Civil War (?)
We decided to go into the center of town to see if anything was going on there. We made a detour for some McDonald's ice cream and were confronted by two homeless people dressed and painted in black. These were the guys everyone cautioned us against. You are supposed to give them money, otherwise they will "get you" with black paint or chalk. Hearing about this months ago, I was outraged. Beggars are going to THREATEN me if I don't give them money? Uh uh. But, in that moment, I realized that it was part of the tradition and fun. We quickly slipped small coins into their hands, and they walked off to harass someone else. Not a big deal. We got our ice cream and headed into the center. Unfortunately, nothing was really happening there, so we decided to head back to the coast.
On the way back, I saw a Colombian man angrily throw a half-full beer bottle at an unsuspecting shirtless gringo's back. It missed, and the gringo didn't even know that it had happened. From what I saw, the gringo did nothing to provoke the man. However, we have been told that walking around shirtless is something that only tourists and crazy people do, so maybe he was outraged about that? That was the only time I worried about being gringos and being out on the streets, but of course, the rest of the Colombians couldn't have cared less that we were there. Maybe I missed an altercation of some sort, but, really guy? I think that having beer thrown at me would be the worst insult ever.
As we walked back, it started to rain. Most of the Colombian found shelter, or started heading home, but we walked the mile back to our apartment in the rain and got SOAKED. Seriously, our clothes and shoes didn't dry out for days. Despite the rain, the people in the parade were still going strong. The poor high school marching band and salsa dancers were soaked through, but they didn't seem to mind at all. Their heads were in the game. On the way back, we passed a few floats that were blasting music. For each of these floats, there was a crowd of regular Colombians following alongside them, singing at the top of their lungs and dancing. We made it back to our apartment and the parade was STILL going on! It ended up lasting at least 3 1/2 hours, maybe even more. Colombians know how to party! We loved every single part of the festivos.
Differences between Colombia and the States:
-I know I've talked about it before, but the singing in church is just awful. However, even though they are terrible singers, they sing with gusto. I love it. Never have I sung so loudly in church. I'm going to go back to the States and be that person that sings so loud but doesn't have a great voice and you think "does she think she sounds good?". Nope, she probably just lived in Latin America for a while. And good on 'er.
-I woke up one night with a cockroach crawling on my arm. Yes, I know that could happen in the States. But I still think it belongs here because I would wager that it happens much more often here than in the States. It was gross and traumatizing.
-We have a wild gecko living in our house. We have named him Greg. He has been living with us for like 4 months, no joke. He lives in the space between the plaster and the casing around our front door and he usually only comes out at night. Do you think Colombian customs will let me take him home with us?
-A lot of the Colombians got full head braids for the festivos, and dyed pieces of their hair red or yellow. I'm sure there's a name for that other than full head braids, but I don't know it, and I'm sure you can imagine what I'm talking about. I'm not sure why we don't have holiday-specific hairstyles, but I think we should start this tradition in the States. I do look good with a mean corn row.
-November has proved to be the season of high seas. To me, it seems that for the first time, the waves are big enough for beginner boogie boarders. To Colombians, it's time to surf! There have been surfers most mornings for the past few weeks, and we watch as they try to surf in 4 feet of water. It's commendable, really. They actually do pretty well.
Well, it's been a great few months in Colombia. Christmas decorations are going up everywhere and we're excited to spend the week before Christmas with a Colombian that James knew on his mission, and after Christmas with our friends in ECUADOR! The next posts should be fun! Until then, Feliz Navidad y Prospero Ano Nuevo!
James bought me a $2 Christmas tree and some blue LED lights. Our house now looks like the inside of a stripper club (I assume). This was the best picture we could take, and I think it conveys the spirit of the tree nicely. If you don't hear from us for a few days, it's probably because our brains exploded and we're rotting away in Colombia. On that note...
