Well, we've had our first (real) holiday in Colombia and away from friends and family. That's right, yesterday was my handsome husband's birthday. The unofficial theme was "America". I bought him "an Easter basket of American food" (as he put it), we had french toast for breakfast (wait, is that American or French?), Dominos for lunch, Pillsbury cake with Betty Crocker frosting (made in a toaster oven...turned out way better than I expected), and then cheese, bacon, ranch potatoes (unfortunately made with Kraft Fat Free Ranch because that was the only ranch in Colombia at the time). James worked, so we didn't do anything exciting yesterday, but we are going away to the islands this weekend. So I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about that next!
Fun experiences:
- I didn't talk a lot about my trip to California at the beginning of the month. I think it can be summed up by saying that we just waited in line for 3 days. Seriously, everything we did took FOREVER. Note to everyone: LA in the summer is not a pleasant place to be because it's where EVERYONE wants to be. But it was good to see my mom, sleep on comfortable mattresses (yes, cheap hotels have better mattresses than my furnished Colombian apartment), take hot showers (of which I took like 7 in 3 days), and eat American food. A weird thing that I experienced in the states was accents. For some reason, I had a terrible time understanding people's accented English. In Atlanta, I couldn't understand anyone's Southern accents. And then in California, I couldn't understand Mexican accented English, which was super weird. However, I could understand the Mexican Spanish easier than the Costeno Spanish. Go figure. But the most interesting parts of my trip were my navigating the Colombian airport without my translator.
I ordered an Uber to get to the airport because what they quoted me was cheaper than a taxi. It ended up being more expensive because Colombia is just always confusing. My driver put my suitcase in the trunk, got in the car, and facing forward, asked me in Spanish if I was going to the airport. Because he was facing forward (and probably because I was nervous), I didn't hear him and I asked him...what? He looked at me in the rearview mirror and I saw the knowing (and no, I don't mean knowledge. It's my blog and I'll make up expressions if I want to). In that moment, even though I responded to him in Spanish, he understood that I didn't speak Spanish. I love/hate this moment. It's no secret that I have a general love/hate relationship with learning, speaking, and listening to Spanish. Let me explain. When I initially meet someone, I really like to fool them, and make them think I speak Spanish. It boosts my confidence if they think I speak Spanish. I immediately regret that decision when they actually try to speak Spanish to me alone and expect a response. I know, I'm a complicated person. But back to the Uber driver...when I see the knowing in Colombians' eyes (because that's where you see it), I am sad I couldn't keep it going longer. But then of course I was relieved that I didn't have to make conversation with this Uber driver whom I could barely hear. Love/hate.
When I got to the airport, I got into the Delta line. As per Colombian tradition, the lines were super confusing, Spanish aside. I picked the line I thought I was supposed to be in, because all the other gringos were in that line. Turns out, we were all in the wrong line. But it was fine, it didn't end up taking more time, because a nice Colombian Delta employee who spoke dang near perfect English (pretty rare here) came and herded us to the right place and got our tickets from the hidden self-serve machines. Stupid gringos. Then while we were waiting to check bags (in the right line this time), we had a security check point (yes, before the actual security). This was like Delta's security? I'm still not sure what it was, but what I do know is that the jerk American tourists in front of and behind me were absolutely OUTRAGED that this existed. Once again, c'mon American tourists. Don't be those people. Yes, it was ridiculous that we had to answer 20 questions before even getting our bags checked. Yes, the questions were ridiculous (What is your favorite hobby? How long have you been going to the university?). Yes, the Delta security girls spoke terrible English (Hey, they were trying! And you're in their country, not vice versa!) But really? EVERYONE I encountered at the airport was SOOO nice. As you know, niceness is not something gringos experience often in Cartagena. So I felt like I was in heaven. I would initially try to speak Spanish to all the Delta people, but I would see the knowing and they would switch to English. Again, while I never EXPECT anyone to speak English in Colombia, I am mighty grateful when they do. So let's be grateful, jerk gringos!
After finally getting through Delta security and the bag check, I got into the line for actual security. And then customs. Yes, you have to go through customs even to LEAVE Colombia. Luckily, I had arrived at the airport in plenty of time, so I was just enjoying the nice treatment from the Colombians. The guy I got for customs did not speak English. I answered his questions in Spanish and then he started chatting with me. Again, love/hate this situation. He asked me if I learned salsa dancing while I was here, and I thought he said something completely different and answered that question that he hadn't really asked. At this point he just decided that it was cute that I didn't speak Spanish, so he teased me a little and sent me away with both of us laughing. So I give my Colombian airport experience an A+.
Coming back, I obviously had to go through customs again. I was practicing my initial sentence in my head for the whole hour I had to wait in line. Then I got up to the guy (who didn't speak English) and told him in Spanish that I live in Colombia with my wife. He raised his eyebrows and said "your wife?" And then I started laughing and corrected myself and he threw his head back and laughed at me for like 30 seconds straight. It was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Then through the rest of the conversation (which went much better), he would pause, shake his head, smile and say "psh, your wife." I literally made his day, maybe even his whole month. But it was super funny.
-James and I are advisors (? is that the English word I'm looking for?) to the young single adults at church. But a couple of weeks after we got that calling, James also got called to be a counselor in the Sunday School Presidency. Which means that he had to teach a teacher's class every week, so I sat in the JAS class by myself. It was fine, it was good for me to just sit and listen, even if I couldn't participate in anything other than reading scriptures. But we would always miss the JAS activities because they would announce them in class and I would have no idea what was going on. So now James' class has ended, so and he gets to sit in JAS (jovenes adultos solteros) with me (yay!). Anyway, we now know when they have activities. So we have been to two family home evenings and a cake/pizza-making activity at the other gringos' apartment. The best part is getting to see more of Colombia, because most of them live in the "real Colombia" neighborhood behind our building. Highlights from these activities are as follows: 1) The cake/pizza making activity took 5 hours, but we didn't even care because we are getting used to "Colombian Mormon standard time"...and we got fed. 2) They didn't know how to use a can opener. It took 6 of them to figure it out. We just sat back and laughed. 3) One of the girls lives in an apartment building that her grandpa built for her family. At one point, members of her family occupied the whole building, but now there are a few apartments rented out to others. I would guess that there were 8-10 apartments in the building. I would have loved being that close to my cousins growing up. 4) Last week, we were walking through what were essentially dirt alleys to someone's house. James and I were walking at the back of the group (we all met somewhere and walked together), and one of the girls doubled back to walk behind us because she was worried about something happening to the gringos. I didn't feel unsafe, but I probably would have if we hadn't been walking with a group of Colombians. The house we went to had a dining room, kitchen/laundry, bathroom, and two rooms which had curtains for doors, one of which had a TV. There were at least 1 adult and 3 children living there, and possibly 2 more adults. So 4-6 people were living in 1-2 bedrooms. It really just makes me think about how spoiled we are in America. We all used to sleep in one room in the Middle Ages...when did we decide that we need more bedrooms/bathrooms than people? Colombia has given me a new perspective on, well, everything.
One of the smaller giant "bat-moths" that we get in our apartment on a regular basis.
Differences between the states and Colombia:
-They don't really use lawn mowers here (not that there is a lot of grass, other than by the wall), but when they mow grass (or weeds as is often the case), they just use a weed-wacker. And they dress up in what I can only imagine are SWELTERING beekeeper suits.
-This is one of my favorite, most Colombian things I've seen. Yes, it needs to be said. Neighbors, stop throwing your trash out the windows! Oh, Colombia.
-The architecture here confuses me. There are many a new building being built in our neighborhood and they just don't do it right! We have the beach in front of us and the gross lagoon (which the Colombians thinks count as a "view"), castle, monastery, and general city views behind us. So where do you think they put the windows on these buildings? Naturally, on the sides! I don't really want to look at the ocean or city, I'd rather look into my neighbor's laundry room, thanks.
-Kites, kites, and more kites. August is kite month. Seriously, I think August 1st was the first time I saw kites, and I saw 8 billion of them instantly. Everyone gathers by the wall and flies kites all day, every day. I'm not sure why August is the month but I guess it has been slightly windier? Not as "dry" and sunny as March-July, and not as windy and January and February, but more rainy and humid than any other month. So I guess that's ideal kite weather?
-James and I walk on the grass in the shadow of the wall on his way to work every day. There's a place where there are a lot of holes in the grass, but I just chalked that up to Colombia. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a FREAKIN' LAND CRAB crawl out of one of these holes. It was medium-sized (medium-sized to me is like 5 inches from leg to leg) and grayish white. Needless to say, I now brave the hot Colombian sun rather than walk in the land of giant, slightly less creepy, spiders.
-A lot of Colombian women walk around with umbrellas on sunny days, because, ya know, it's like 110 degrees. I am in full support of this, although I myself don't think it's worth it to lug around an umbrella all the time. And, half of the time, I want to kill people who use them. My constant complaint about Colombia is the sidewalks...there are a billion people here, and most places you have to walk single file on a sidewalk behind someone going -3 miles an hour. But of course, we all try to walk two people because there's a billion people. It's frustrating enough in general...but then add an umbrella to the mix and it becomes downright dangerous. I can't tell you how many times I've had to crouch down to half my height (because I am considerably taller than most Colombian women, even with their 6 inch wedges) just to not get my eye taken out by a passing umbrella. Or I have to walk out into the street, risking getting hit by one of the aggressive taxis. C'mon Colombia. Have some sidewalk and umbrella etiquette.
I think that's it for now...we have some church activities coming up that I'm sure we'll want to document here. And we're going to the islands! Also stay tuned for James' tale of his trip to Tayrona (aka, the jungle) at the beginning of this month. I'm sure it will be just as entertaining as his last post. If you haven't read that one, go back and do it! Hasta luego!
A cute restaurant that I found downtown. I know nothing about it.
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